Seto's Stupid Moments!
by RozeWolf
Summary: Hia! I'm just reposting the first Chapter cause it was accidently taken down! Hmmm ... ever wonder what the famous and "sane" Seto Kaiba did when no one was around? Chapter 2 up! R
1. The Potion!

> Demon: This is going to be fun! (Note I'm Reposting the first two Chapters cause FFnet took them off!)  
  
Terra: Are you hyper?  
  
Demon: No!  
  
Terra: And your going to do this!  
  
Demon: Yeah ...  
  
Seto: IF YOU DO THIS, I'LL THROW ALL OF KAIBA CORP. ON YOU!!!  
  
Demon: You're going to drop a building on me!  
  
Seto: No, I'm going to ... I'm going to ... shuddup!  
  
Demon: Welcome to Seto's Stupid Moments! This is where I reveal to you some of Seto's dumbest moments! So Enjoy!  
  
Seto: Damn you ... ... (holds up cardboard sign) Seto For Governor!
> 
> * * *
> 
> **In Seto's really big-ass mansion...**  
  
Seto opens his really big-ass door to his even bigger-ass room, but first looks around to see if the coast is clear.  
  
Seto: Final! I've been dieing to try this!  
  
Seto rushes into his room, slams the door shut and locks it with his fifty big-ass locks. He then dives under his bed and starts clawing around until he finds the "Big-Ass Silver Box Of Wonderfully Odd Things That Can For Some Reason Fit In Here!"  
  
Seto: (foaming at the mouth) Finally! My Precious!  
  
Seto tosses the box onto his bed and opens it up. He pulls a caldron, a witch's outfit, face paint, a broomstick, a bunch of random and odd ingredients, Tom Green and a really big-ass spoon!  
  
**A few minutes later...  
**  
Seto is fully dressed in the witch suit, has the face paint on, has the caldron boiling and has Tom Green running around the room like a headless chicken. Seto searches his book self for an oddly shaped book that for some odd reason ended up in Tom Green's mouth.  
  
Seto: Now stay put my pretty! And I won't have to sue you! 
> 
> Tom: (flapping arms like a deranged chicken) Ziggy zaggy! Ping-pong! Walla walla Washing Man!  
  
Seto tackles Tom Green to the ground and tears the book out of his mouth. He opens the book half way and reads the ingredients:  
  
1 Eye of Mew 2 Rabid Pancakes 3 Pharaohs Dancing 4 Toxic Boxers 5 Biting Darlas! 6 Dead Donkeys! 7 World Leaders  
  
Seto sat silently reading the ingredients while sitting on Tom Greens back.  
  
Tom: Big man offa me back! Ziggy ziggy Pooh-pooh!  
  
Seto: Oh shut up! (smacks Tom Green over the head with the big-ass spoon)  
  
Mokuba: Hmmm ... Seto, what are you doing?  
  
Tom Green immediately pounces on Mokuba, and tries to eat him.  
  
Seto: (hitting Tom with the spoon) No! Bad Tom! You had yours! No eating the Mokuba!  
  
Tom: Big man no hitty Tom Green! No hitty Tom Green! (runs into a corner)  
  
Seto: How did you find my secret lair?  
  
Mokuba: O.o ...  
  
Seto: What?  
  
Mokuba: Why are you wearing a dress?  
  
Seto: (looks down at what he is wearing) It's not a dress! It's a robe!  
  
Mokuba: O.o Whatever! Anyway (cough)dress(cough) I came through the doggy door! (Points at the doggy dog)  
  
Seto: (muttering) I knew I shouldn't have installed that thing!  
  
Mokuba: Right ... O.o  
  
Seto: Now tell me little one! How did you find my secret lair?!  
  
Mokuba: Hmmm... You have a bunch of signs outside your door saying 'Seto's Secret Lair Here!' or 'Secret Hideout Here!' or 'Buy One Shoe Here And Get The Second One Free!'  
  
Seto: Hmmm ... so that's where my shoe sign went!  
  
Mokuba: O.o ... right! So what cha cooking?  
  
Seto: A potion!  
  
Mokuba: (looking into the pot) Seto, all I see is KD!  
  
Seto: (placing the lid on the pot) Moki, that's my lunch! The potion is in the next one!  
  
Mokuba: Opps! (looks into the caldron) Ewww! It smells like wet dog and your gym socks!  
  
Seto: Wanna try it?  
  
Mokuba: What? Hell no!  
  
Duke(pink bunny): (jumping up and down) OW! Pick me! Pick me!  
  
Seto&Mokuba: ... O.o  
  
Seto: Sure, why not! (pulls out a beer mug and fill it with his 'potion') There you go!  
  
Duke: (takes the mug) Thank you ... hmm ... who are you again?  
  
Seto: It's me. Seto!  
  
Duke: O.o Whatever! (chugs the potion down) Wow! I feel all happy side! (Looks all dazed) Are you my mommy? (looking up at Seto)  
  
Seto: What! Hell No!  
  
Duke: (transforms back to normal) Wow! (starts dancing around) I'm a real boy! I'm a real boy! I'm a real boy! Yay! Yay! Yay!  
  
Seto: Well that didn't go out as planned! (pulls off the hat) Don't you say a wor-what's that?  
  
Mokuba: A video camera!  
  
Seto: What!?!?!?!  
  
Mokuba: Now! You gotta do whatever I tell you to do! Or else!  
  
Seto: Are you blackmailing me?  
  
Mokuba: Why would I mail you anything? We live in the same house! And we're not black! So I guess I'm not blackmailing you!  
  
Seto: --;; (anime fall) Go look Blackmailing up in the dictionary!  
  
Mokuba: Ok big bro!  
  
Duke: (still dancing) I'm a real boy!  
  
Seto: Oh shut up!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Demon: So did you like it?  
  
Seto: No!  
  
Mokuba: Gotta love KD!  
  
Seto: It's Gotta be KD!  
  
Duke: (still dancing!) Yay! I'm a real boy! I'm a real boy! I'm real boy!  
  
Demon: ... (snaps fingers)  
  
Duke: (turns back into a pink rabbit) I'm a real ... owww!  
  
Seto: Review Please! Now Mokuba give me that tape!  
  
Mokuba: Don't have it! Demon does!  
  
Demon: (holds up tape) Hello!  
  
Seto: Owwww!


	2. Mornings!

> Demon: Hey! I'm back!  
  
Seto: Why must you torment me so!  
  
Demon: Lynx!  
  
Seto: Who? (Just then one of my wolves shows up and sits next to Seto) Oh! I don't need bodyguard.  
  
Lynx: I'm not a bodyguard!  
  
Seto: Eep! It talks!  
  
Demon: (going through video tapes) Now which one will I choose?  
  
Seto: How about none and you go to hell!  
  
Demon: Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over! Ah! Here we go! (holds up tape)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Alarm Clock: Beep! Beep! Beep!  
  
Seto: ... (slams his hand down on the clock)  
  
Alarm Clock: Beep! Beep! Beep!  
  
Seto: Hmmm (Hits the clock again)  
  
Alarm Clock: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!  
  
Seto: Shut up! (pulls the cord out of the wall)  
  
A.C: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!  
  
Seto: What the hell! (throws the clock against the wall. The clock smashes to pieces)  
  
A.C: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!  
  
Seto: (Jumps out of bed) Die! Damn you! Die! (hitting the clock with the big-ass spoon)  
  
A.C: ... Beep!  
  
Seto: Argh! (hits it again!)  
  
A.C: ... Seto: Finally!  
  
Mokuba: Seto, come eat breakfast. Hmmmm ... what's with the boxers?  
  
Seto: I like these boxers! They're glow-in-the-dark boxers!  
  
Mokuba: They are also covered in hearts!  
  
Seto: So! What's your point?  
  
Mokuba: Just come down and eat! (leaves)  
  
Seto: Fine! (throws on a white house robe) Where the hell are my slippers? (looking under his bed for his slippers) Here they are! (pulls out a big fluffy pair of pink funny bunny slippers and slides them on)  
  
**Down in the kitchen ...**  
  
Mokuba: I need a sugar rush!  
  
Noah: Me too! Wow! The living dead has risen from his bed!  
  
Seto: Oh shut up!  
  
Noah: Bite me!  
  
Seto: ( staring at Noah) I will!  
  
Mokuba: Trust me Noah! He will! First hand experience!  
  
Noah: So?  
  
Seto: What with the big blender Moki?  
  
Mokuba: Me and Noah need a sugar rush!  
  
Seto: Yay! I heard, but still what's with the big blender?  
  
Mokuba: To mix everything!  
  
Seto: But that is a REALLY BIG blender!  
  
Mokuba: There's a lot of stuff going inside here!  
  
Seto: But it's a REALLY ...  
  
Noah: (hits Seto over the head with a rolled up news paper) Shut up!  
  
Seto: (grabs the news paper and starts to read) Ha! Look at this! (pointing at an article)  
  
Mokuba: (standing at the top of a fifteen foot latter) Noah, toss me up those twenty bags of 200KG of sugar please!  
  
Noah: Ok!  
  
Seto: (looking over the news paper) Some multi-millionaire jackass just fired 7000 people from his Corporation!  
  
Noah: (tosses the last bag of sugar up to Mokuba) What does it say Seto?  
  
Seto: (reading the article out loud) Multi-millionaire, Seto Kaiba, fired over seven thousand people yesterday from Kaiba Corp.!  
  
Mokuba&Noah: O.o ... (looking at each other)  
  
Seto: Now what kind of ass would do that to a bunch of people?  
  
Mokuba: Hate to break it to you bro., but you are Seto Kaiba!  
  
Seto: Really?  
  
Noah: Yes!  
  
Seto: I thought I was Homer Simpsons!  
  
Mokuba&Noah: ... (anime fall)  
  
Seto: Well those 7000 people I fired probably had it coming to them!  
  
Mokuba: Seto, the only reason you fired them is because you had watched 'A Bug's Life' all day the day before and picked up on the phrase 'You're Fired!'  
  
Seto: You can't fire me!  
  
Noah: He's not firing you!  
  
Seto: You'll both hear from my lawyers!  
  
Mokuba: You only have one lawyer!  
  
Seto: You'll still hear from her!  
  
Noah: It's a guy Seto! Your lawyer's a guy!  
  
Seto: Shut up! (storms out of the kitchen)  
  
Mokuba: (looks down at Noah) Can you pass those 4-dozen, two liter bottles of Pepsi that are right next to the ten tons of gum drop buttons that I'll need next!  
  
Noah: Sure thing!  
  
Seto: (pokes head in the kitchen door way) Can I still eat here!  
  
Mokuba: Yes, Seto! You live here remember!  
  
Seto: I do? Oh yeah! I'm Seto Kaiba! Right!  
  
Noah: How did you come to think that you were Homer Simpsons?  
  
Seto: A monkey told me!  
  
Mokuba: A monkey told you?  
  
Seto: Yep! A Star Wars Monkey! (grabs Captain Crunch cereal off the counter)  
  
Mokuba&Noah: ... (anime fall)  
  
Seto: Mmmm! Captain Crunch! (dumps it all into a really big bowl then grabs a liter carton of organ juice and pores that into the bowl along with two cups of sour milk and ten big ass table spoons of powdered pig guts and sugar!)  
  
Mokuba: Eww! That's just gross!  
  
Seto: What's gross?  
  
Mokuba: Nevermind! Noah, I need those twenty, three liter tubs of ice cream.  
  
Noah: I thought we wanted a sugar rush ... not a brain freeze!  
  
Mokuba: Just toss them!  
  
Noah: Whatever! Seto, what are you doing?  
  
Seto: (looking in the sink cupboards) Did you know we have moldy cat food in here?  
  
Mokuba: That's interesting ...  
  
Seto: It tastes like bad lobster on a winter Monday night!  
  
Noah: What does?  
  
Seto: The moldy cat food!  
  
Mokuba&Noah: O.o ... OHMYGODYOUIDIOT!!!!  
  
Seto: Do we have any large jars?  
  
Noah: Yeah! In 'The Room Of Left Shoes!'  
  
Seto: Why do we have them in the shoes room?  
  
Mokuba: I don't know but you gotta stop stealing everyone's left shoe!  
  
Seto: I'll go get it later ... I ... I ... I don't feel to well.  
  
Noah: That's what you get for eating moldy cat food!  
  
Seto: (Spaces out) ... O.O  
  
Mokuba: Are you all right Seto?  
  
Noah: Just leave him! Is it all most ready?  
  
Mokuba: Yep!  
  
Seto: (waving his hand in front of his face, sounding stoned) Whoa! Look at all the pretty colors dude! It's so beautiful!  
  
Noah: What the hell?  
  
Seto: (running around the kitchen in his boxers looking like a deranged chicken and sounding like he's on helium) Ziggy Zappy! Schfifty-five! Ping pang! Bang! Bang! Bang!  
  
Noah: Seto?  
  
Seto: (singing) 9 Coronas! She was no Cindy Crawford! Cindy Crawford! Nothing rhymes with Cindy Crawford! After 9 Coronas!  
  
Mokuba: Noah! Unleash the hamsters!  
  
Noah: Whatever! Why did I ever move in if you two? (unleashes hamsters)  
  
(The Hamtaro Theme starts up as a bunch of Ham Hams rush into the kitchen)  
  
Seto: 9 Coron-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (drowns in the sea of Ham Hams!)  
  
Mokuba: Now let's act like this never happened and that the Earth was made of blue cheese! It's ready!  
  
Noah: Yum!  
  
Mokuba: Dive in!  
  
Noah: Right! (Mokuba and Noah dive into the blender ... forgetting to unplug it!)  
  
Ham Hams: ... (hit the blender on switch)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Demon: O.o ...  
  
Bob-Katt: Those two are alive right?  
  
Demon: Yep!  
  
Tiger: Are you sure?  
  
Demon: Nope!  
  
Wakka: Not good!  
  
Demon: They're young! They live!  
  
Wakka: o.O  
  
Tiger: You sure?  
  
Demon: Didn't you already ask that?  
  
Tiger: Kinda!  
  
Joey: 9 Coronas!  
  
Demon: Go away Joey!  
  
Joey: Bit me!  
  
Demon: Fine! (bites Joey)  
  
Wakka: (turning towards the readers) Review please! This made no-sense! I need to get out of there!!


End file.
